More Satisfying Job Applications

Gawker Media, publisher of some of the web's best-loved brands and communities, is seeking an experienced executive assistant in our New York office. [...] To apply, please send a note to opsjobs AT gawker DOT com (no attachments!) with a resume in plain text and a short cover note that tells us why you're perfect for this job as well as how you would handle these hypothetical situations:

You booked a flight for an employee to travel to our Budapest office, but they missed their international connecting flight through Paris. They text you for help.

"Alas!" cries the Executive Assistant, stretching languidly at her desk, "I seem to have dropped my telephone in the toilet. Perhaps next time we ought to send an employee capable of accomplishing tasks as basic as catching an international connecting flight, such as the Executive Assistant." The Executive Assistant rummages about in her drawer until she finds a packet of Snackimals. "Cookie, anyone?" she asks politely. "Oh never mind, I don't feel like sharing."

Someone shows up for an appointment with an executive, but you can't find them or reach them on their cell phone.

The Executive Assistant has stepped into a Twilight Zone of unclear referents! How astonishing, to think that someone can show up and yet also remain unfindable! The Executive Assistant leaps to her feet. "It shall be the premise of my new paranormal romantic young adults novel!" she shouts. "Thank god, I can shuffle right off this administrative shitshow for fame and fortune at last!"

Office happy hour starts in ten minutes and the wine was never delivered.

Well, then you go to a fucking bar like a fucking adult. Obviously.

Original posting is here, should you like to try your hand at it. Good luck!