SPECIAL UNCONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT: Public Humiliation Uncontest!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Inspired by this weekend's foray into the truly horrifying journals of the young Rejectionist, we bring to you an extra-special Uncontest of EPIC PROPORTIONS. It is the OFFICIAL REJECTIONIST PUBLIC HUMILIATION UNCONTEST and HERE IS HOW YOU ENTER, LITTLE ONES:
On MONDAY SEPTEMBER 27 the Rejectionist shall post DEEPLY EMBARRASSING EXCERPTS from her childhood journals. You know the drill: YOU publish on YOUR blog deeply embarrassing excerpts from YOUR childhood journals and link to them in the comments on that post. And then we will all laugh together at how far we have journeyed from those misty shores of yore, okay? Okay! So unearth those dusty notebooks! Show us your simpering sonnets, your most florid romantic confessions, your magnificently pretentious early attempts at philosophizing, your tortured love poetry! Bring on the WORST! Let the cringing begin!
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 27!!! MASS PUBLIC HUMILIATION!!! MORTIFYING SECRETS REVEALED!!! It will be such total gnarlitude. Let's kick off Banned Book Week with Books We Probably Should Have Banned Ourselves From Writing! Okay? OKAY!
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Oh god! There are way too many to choose from...bad poetry (that HAD to rhyme no less) was my forte when I was younger. ;-)
However, this mass humiliation thing sounds like a blast! :)
Well, bollocks. My mom threw out all the old spiral bounds. I don't know how she found them in my super-stealth secret hiding place under the window seat cushion. I had a real winner in there, too. An attempt at epic fantasy with a bad guy named Garth. I think the heroine was Maura.
There were definitely woods and swordfights and a Merlin archetype. I reallyreallyreally wish I still had it.
I'll call my Dad. I think he still has some stuff from my purple glitter pen period . . .
Scans of purple glitter pen compositions=+1000 extra credits.
So, is this like third grade embarrassing (like the illustrated opus about my pet, the baby purple hippo), or college level cringe (like a truly pretentious vampire story that had quotes pulled from The Divine Comedy?
For one I'll have to call mom. For the other I'll have to dig into the old box of actual floppy discs. Scary.
THIS IS AN EPIC DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY OH MY GOD
Oh man, J.A. Platt, that is a decision of epic proportions that only you can make. We personally are kind of leaning toward the vampire story.
OMG Laurel WHOSE MOM THROWS STUFF LIKE THAT OUT HOW DID YOU SURVIVE YOUR CHILDHOOD
jesus god. are xanga/livejournal screenshots acceptable here? i don't think i can bear the trip to my parent's house to dig any Lisa Frank notebooks out of the attic.
All entries are acceptable as long as they are humiliating.
Oh my. This is uncontestedly cringe-worthy cool.
Now I just have to decide whether to feature the infamous snow snake of my 7th grade fantasy, or delve into the more wretched recesses of my high school journal (in which all names will be changed to protect the objects of my heroically pathetic affection).
I presume you want whichever is more mortifying. E-gad.
If only I still had that story where I reinvented the "and then I woke up" ending for a generation of second graders!
OMG I have like 14 journals to choose from! Not counting the rhyming kitteh poetry written on postcards decorated with (what else??) cats! Must put scanner to use! Public humiliation! Cannot wait!
I actually still have at least three of those dusty journals in a box somewhere (fabulous I have a new project for the weekend! find the box that contains my childhood humiliation!), all hand-written, and some pages include doodles. If I had a working camera I'd share the "artwork" but I suppose typing up the horrible missives verbatim will have to do.
Only for you, Le R. Only for you.
What happens if we didn't journal? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DIDN'T JOURNAL?
Le R, sadly, I have no idea where any of those things are. :(
Sadly after "Divorce-Gate" my mother went through a break and held a bonfire celebrating her independence from my father's wrath. Included were all family portraits, stuffed animals, macaroni mother's day cards, and yes--my journals. I think she tossed them so they couldnt turn state's evidence. I've held on to the ashes of my creative soul, but I doubt I'll be able to CSI them into anything recognizable.
Le R: I like to think my mom was looking out for me. And it could have been worse. If I had been cool enough to be a pothead, it would have been my stash.
Oh! I have the journal. It lives on a shelf, all brown-covered and brooding. It permeates fragments of poetry and everything. But will I be able to read it? Bad scrawl, scribbles and all:it was written by streetlight, long after lights out. Can you read, if you've got both hands over your eyes? I'm going to give it a try. ;)
Hmm. No journal. I may have some old letters though ... no, too incriminating. Can I share humiliating queries that I wrote, just last year, in my infinite ignorance, before I had a freaking clue what a proper query looked like?
Would that work? It's kind of even more embarrassing because it was literally only about 1.5 years ago.
I am so winning this.
I have between 15-20 journals stored away at home. I kept a meticulous and humiliating record of every. single. thing. that happened to me from the age of 8 up. Oh god. It just depends on 1) whether I have time to sort through them and find the best excerpt(s) by Monday and 2) if I'm truly willing to reveal exactly how epically confused/melodramatic/pathetic I was.
BWAHAHA. Love it. I didn't journal, but I do have my first story EVa memorized. Perhaps it will be shared. Perhaps.
Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
Define Childhood? Do you mean pre-puberty or last week?
I am going to regret this so much but I AM IN. OH GOD WHAT AM I DOING.
I would love to do this, but I don't have childhood journals anymore. Don't know where they went...but I'll have fun reading everyone else's! Good luck contestants!
Finally! An opportunity to reveal my youthful brilliance to the world!
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