Stuff We Did This Weekend
Monday, April 5, 2010
1. Found ourself the victim of an unfortunate series of events involving a peacefully napping Rejectionist and cat, a Support Team transporting a small tub of hydrochloric acid from one end of the apartment to the other (don't ask), the dropping of the small tub of hydrochloric acid and subsequent agitation of aforementioned cat, who leapt to her feet and ran across our face with claws extended; the end result of this disastrous chain of causality being that we look distinctly as though we spent the weekend brawling. However, we feel this lends a pleasingly rakish effect to our appearance, and we have gotten quite good at saying "Well, the other guy is dead" with a perfectly straight face when people ask us what happened.
2. Saw the ludicrously amazing band Dark Dark Dark, which may have resulted in a certain Rejectionist having some Very Emotional Moments and getting a little weepy during a couple of songs. So what. Shut up. Possibly there were also serious thoughts about buying a truck, quitting all our jobs, filling our pocket with the meager contents of our savings account, bailing out of this cesspool of a city, driving across the southwest a bunch of times with the wind in our hair, sleeping under the stars, and going swimming in rivers. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING IN NEW YORK WHERE THERE ARE NO TREES AND ALL THE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. Dark Dark Dark is on tour right now! go see them if they come to your town! If this song doesn't give you chills you have no heart and you are not allowed to be our friend any more.
3. Went running. Was almost run over by a horse-drawn wagon overflowing with delighted Hasidic children, being driven by a man with a pronounced white-blond hair-metal mullet in a half-shirt and cutoff jeans shorts. SPRING IS HERE.
4. We have been so homesick lately that we actually tried to watch the Twilight movie, which is filmed in our ancestral homeland of the North Olympic Peninsula. Oh my god, Author-friends, that movie is REALLY. BAD. We didn't make it all the way through but we did get to have a Cleolinda moment with our Support Team, who watched about fifteen minutes with us, and was all like "But they are out in the daytime?" and then we were like "They can go out in the sunlight, it's just that they're REALLY SPARKLY," and then he made an astonished face, and we were all like NO REALLY AND ALSO THEY EAT DEERS BECAUSE THEY ARE VEGETARIANS AND THAT MUMBLY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK IS REALLY A WEREWOLF. Twilight is never having to say you're kidding!
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It's okay. I cry at the movie Armageddon. Yes. Armageddon.
I'd say more but I'd just further incriminate myself.
"Daddy, no!" gets us EVERY TIME.
Me too! I am sooooo glad I am not the only one. I think I shall turn the tables against others who are so stony hearted that they don't cry when they're all saying goodbye.
Thank you for introducing me to Dark Dark Dark. AMAZING!!!
I want your weekends.
But you MUST watch it all the way through! Preferably as I did: with several author-friends (and also some mom-friends and lawyer-friends), basically MST3K-ing the heck out of it all the way through. With wine and/or ice cream. And tequila in a flask bought on Etsy. Oh yes.
New Moon is even better.
You remember Return of the King? The endish part where they are climbing Mount Doom for, like, ever? And you ask yourself if it really took that long in the book?
New Moon has a full forty five minutes of every kind of tortured love in existence. Unrequited, check. Unhealthy, check. Angst filled, check. Impossible, check. Unfettered affair with too much metrosexual hair gel, check.
And keep in mind I enjoyed the books. But they didn't have a hair and makeup department, just lots of topaz eyes.
Twilight is the next cult classic, don'tcha know.
I still don't understand why New York has no trees. They've very nice.
Ah Young Rejectionist, your music-inspired longings remind this Author Friend of her (much) younger self, weeping to "Thunder Road" behind the wheel of her red Karmann Ghia, with the night busted open and two lanes to take her anywhere--one last chance to make it real.
P. S. I stayed in Jersey. Because eventually, you learn to bloom where you are.
Didn't you know you're supposed to acclimatize your cat to hydrochloric acid incidents when they're kittens. right after you teach them to flush?
um. i totally only clicked on the video because you threatened to dismantle our friendship (budding romance?) but absolutely fell in love with the music.
thanks for introducing me to my new favorite band.
sparkle sparkle.
Author-friend Rosemary from Jersey, thanks for the Springsteen-nostalgia moment! "One last chance to make it real." Now you've got me tearing up, too.
Cracking up at the image of you saying, "The other guy is dead."
I actually liked Twilight, but it kinda makes me wonder what is the most outrageous story line an author could mange to sell...
Temptation...
ZOMG, "Twilight is never having to say you're kidding". *slow clap*
Ah-hah! I had a feeling you were from the Pacific Northwest. Awesome must come from awesome, after all.
I remember seeing Twilight at its midnight sneak showing. When I tried to rewatch it later, at a more reasonable hour, it wasn't even the same movie. I recommend watching it when extremely sleep deprived. It almost makes sense, then.
Twilight might have actually been decent if any of the actors could actually...ACT.
I could film myself staring longingly at a chocolate cupcake and it would be better than that. In fact, that may be my new project.
Ink, do not feel bad. I also cried at Armageddan. That scene between Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck deciding who stays behind to blow up the asteroid gets me every single time. I'm a sucker for weeping men.
Marsha,
Apparently I'm a sucker for weeping men, too. I'm not sure what this says about me. Particularly when it's Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck. Though Liv Tyler is the coup d'etat. Tears now in full control. Sniff sniff. I mean, c'mon, it's her Daddy.
Ink and Marsha--I sob when Bruce Willis shoves Ben Affleck into the elevator thingie and stays to die alone--and when he closes his eyes and sees his daughter running to him when she was a child---blink-blink-blink-don't-tear-up.
The Dark Dark Dark song was beautiful and her voice is gorgeous.
I haven't read the books but I watched ten min. of New Moon at my friend's house and said things like, "Why are there elegant Indian-style ceremonial dancers here? Wasn't Edward out in the sun like ten seconds ago and he was fine? Is Bella always so overwrought about everything? Is that Alice gonna slap Bella? I hope so!"
It raised many questions. I gave up.
Don't feel bad, fellow weepy movie watchers! I cry at Muppet Christmas Carol. Swear to god!
If you just want to watch Twilight to see the scenery because you're homesick, I think I can help you. See, years ago when I was in college I had a huge crush on Illya Kuryakin. (I have always had a terrible weakness for pretty blond men.) So, I wanted to see David McCallum anywhere I could, but unfortunately, during the height of his popularity, the man starred in some of the most hideously stupid movies even made. So I found a trick and I'm sure it would work as well for scenery as it does for charming blond men.
Just watch it in slow reverse. Going backwards you won't be subjected to the plot at all, even inadvertently. And reverse has no sound so, no stupid dialogue. Ta-da!
BTW, I'm a grandma! My cat had triplets this morning. :D
That song destroyed me. Thanks, dude. I was filled with the buzzing bees of Springtime happiness until that came along.
The final line slayed me. ALMOST brought me out of the suicidal depression wrought by the song. Not quite, but close.
In other news, I am visiting our ancestral homeland this August. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.
Bruce Willis actually looks somewhat sorta kinda like my dad, and Liv Tyler actually looks somewhat sorta kinda like myself, so yeah, that part always gets me, too. Especially since my dad is a total ass-wipe that has basically disowned all of his children, including me. Yeah. Thanks, Dad. I'll forward the bill from my therapist to you, if you don't mind.
You think I am kidding. No, I am not. Even scarier, my real name is Liv! Still NOT kidding! It is a shortened version of my honest-to-stinking-goodness birth-given name, Olivia.
Also, in my younger days, I studied screenwriting and acting, and I seriously had fantasies of me and Liv Tyler appearing on Oprah together, with the ever-clever title sparkling in the background: Liv & Liv.
Apparently, this is the "Lydia Tell-All" and you've won front-row tickets. Good grief... shutting up now. Glad you had a nice weekend, Le R. ;) And thanks for jumping on the bandwagon of embedding glorious YouTube vids into your blog posts. I admit I'm addicted to doing just that recently. Too fun.
And OMG! Congrats, on the kittens, Loretta!
Is it, like, more embarrassing to cry during Armageddon, or to have watched it so many times that one has large sections of it memorized?
Congratulations, Loretta!
Le R, I'm not sure. It depends on whether or not you weep every time you watch it... Yep.
The line "Twilight is never having to say you're kidding!" made me happy. (I actually clapped, which is probably the most embarrassing thing.)
"Twilight is never having to say you're kidding" is stolen from Cleolinda, we cannot take the credit.
We do cry every time, yeah. COME ON IT'S HER DAD.
Terrific Lydia. Now the internet stalkers are one step closer to finding out where we live.
I only have so many shotgun shells, dear.
" Was almost run over by a horse-drawn wagon overflowing with delighted Hasidic children, being driven by a man with a pronounced white-blond hair-metal mullet in a half-shirt and cutoff jeans shorts. SPRING IS HERE."
No wonder you are the Rejectionist. I would pay 100.00 for a subscription to the New Yorker if I knew I would get to read that line over and over from the soggy pages draped over the side of my tub. Them are two funny sentences.
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