How to Reject a Rejectionist

Since you asked so nicely, Lydia!

Dear Rejectionist:

Thank you very much for submitting work to Fancypants & Pretension Quarterly. Although this submission isn't right for the magazine, we hope you will keep us in mind for future work. Not that we'll publish it. Also, only your parents love you; everyone else is just pretending.

Sincerely,

Fancypants & Pretension Magazine

In non-sad-kitten-related news, Author-friend Sanjay, whom you may remember from this excellent item, is HAVING A BABY (there is something in the WATER OVER HERE WATCH OUT!!) Congratulations, Sanjay!