In this festive holiday season, let us gently entreat you to remember the bravest little foot soldier of your office, without whom you surely could not operate with the formidable efficiency and panache that engenders such admiration in the hearts of your colleagues. Who dispatches your legions of hapless and ill-informed query-ers? Who firmly tells your Least Favorite Client Who Always Wants to Process His Exceedingly Difficult Divorce that you are "in a very, very important meeting" every time said client calls? Who has quietly memorized your preferred ratio of sweetener to foam in your gourmet espresso beverage of choice, your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water, your mom's birthday, and your dog-walker's cell number? Who discreetly corrects your potentially embarrassing typographical errors? Who made you a BAZILLION FUCKING DOLLARS by plucking the best-selling book franchise in the known universe out of your slushpile? Why yes indeedy, your BELOVED ASSISTANT. So why not show your appreciation with some serious fervor this year? Bonuses are always welcome, but a thoughtfully chosen gift makes assistants feel extra-extra special. And so, without further ado:
1. One can never go wrong with a nice bottle of whisky. Assistants need their drinkies.
2. A sickly assistant is totes unsightly. Why not bestow upon hard-working Susie or James the gift that keeps on giving all year round!
3. A super-tasty dinner can be a treat for you, too! Assistants LOVE fancy dinners. Oh boy, do they.
4. And finally, nothing says, "Le R., thanks for all your hard work this year" like a pair of Haider Ackermann leather trousers. Mmmmmmmmm.