As long-time readers and dedicated nerds are perhaps aware, today is International Raistlin Majere Day, a holiday dedicated to a personage one either loves wholeheartedly or has no idea exists. As a wildly pretentious, alienated, and deeply arrogant young person, I found much to admire in Raistlin, a character who is ambitious, self-centered, better than everyone at everything, and, when it really counts, deeply compassionate. What's not to love? In honor of everybody's favorite creepy time-conquering friend-betraying wizard (who, I might add, is the ORIGINAL sparkly paranormal super-powered hunk), here are some suggested activities for a day dedicated to his awesomeness.
1. Call in sick to work. Raistlin doesn't need a fucking job. Sit in the park and read the whole original trilogy back to back while drinking smelly tea and making terrible faces at children.
2. RED BATHROBE. OBVS. Or black one, if you want to go all Bad Raist.
3. Call your brother and ask him to forgive you.
4. Some dude harassing you on the street? Just be all like, "SHIRAK, MOTHERFUCKER," and throw a fireball at him.
5. Super important! Let us not forget that Raistlin was always kind to the disenfranchised and generous to people without power. I tell you what: I will give a signed advance copy of my book and an entire set of Guillotine chapbooks to the first person who donates over a hundred dollars to their local abortion access fund in the name of Raistlin Majere, I am not even a little bit joking, just email me your receipt. Otherwise just, like, tip your waiter extra and be really nice to people today, unless they oppose you, in which case send them to another dimension.
6. Just assume for a little while that you are better than everyone around you. It's not a great idea to do this, like, ALL the time? But it's pretty fun for an afternoon.
7. And of course, prepare for International Buy A Dragonlance Book Day on May second, which I totally did not make up and is a real thing. We want our Dragonlance books back! Right? Since you are here already, do me a favor and buy your Dragonlance books from your beloved local independent bookstore, okay?
Happy International Raistlin Majere Day, friends!