SCENE: THE SLOOP, a Ballard establishment of somewhat dubious repute, where beers come in two sizes ("a pint"; "a big one"). An older gentleman is picking his teeth at the bar with a piece of his coaster. REJECTIONIST is seated at a booth with AN OLD FRIEND, whom she has known since the age of nineteen but has not seen in many years. REJECTIONIST is attempting to avoid skin contact with the vinyl covering of her booth seat.
FRIEND: So, wow, long time! What's it like in New York?
REJECTIONIST: Every night I get drunk with the Strokes and ride around in limos, it's pretty great.
FRIEND: Whoa. Really?
REJECTIONIST: No. I can't actually afford to leave my apartment. What about you?
FRIEND: Just working lots of jobs, playing with my band, trying to make the music thing work out.
REJECTIONIST: That's pretty hard, right?
FRIEND: (Becomes slightly agitated) The music industry is weird. Basically it's just an excuse for a lot of people to do coke together, and then if anyone actually makes an album that's a bonus, but mostly they all just do coke. Once I was playing a show and a record executive asked my band if we wanted to go do coke in the bathroom with him and we said no and he said, "What about the band that opened for you, do you think they do coke?" And then that band got a record deal.
REJECTIONIST: That sounds, uh, terrible. There's not a whole lot of coke in publishing, from what I've seen.
FRIEND: I think coke shows up more in an industry that occasionally makes money. Are you still writing?
REJECTIONIST: Yeah, I wrote a book, and now I am writing a different book. It's like playing the lottery for very, very low stakes. If you win you could maybe buy some new pants and a steak dinner.
FRIEND: You should write about vampires. I hear there is a lot of profit in vampires.
REJECTIONIST: That's what they keep telling me.
FRIEND: (Makes a vampire face) You could call it "Dusk." Your vampire book. You know, like Twilight, but dusk.
REJECTIONIST: I did get the reference, yes.
FRIEND: The vampire in Twilight sparkles, right? What if your vampire was very... he could be very... He could be a plush vampire. Velvety.
REJECTIONIST: A textured vampire?
FRIEND: Maybe felt. Strokeable. You just need to put a fresh spin on the legend. I mean, again. Re-fresh the spin.
REJECTIONIST: I'll take that into consideration. You're welcome to ghostwrite it if the band doesn't take off.
FRIEND: I think this year we might make money. I took all the cussing out of our songs and now they get played on the radio. I realized that you don't have to sell out. You just have to sell.
REJECTIONIST: Here's to that, sir. Here's to that.
(REJECTIONIST and FRIEND clink glasses.)