Some Novel Plots We Came Up With This Morning, Whilst Procrastinating Labor On Our Own Great Work

A sentient overcoat ghostwrites fantasy novels for a bestselling author, but when the author loses the coat on a train all hell breaks loose as he desperately crisscrosses the countryside searching for it; hilarity ensues when he enlists a jovial St. Bernard called "Percival" to aid in his search.

A small child enters a fairytale kingdom, where it ascends the throne utilizing skills learned playing World of Warcraft, when it discovers that its mother has been kidnapped by an enormous albatross and is being held captive on that one island in the Pacific the albatrosses all go to whose name we can't remember at the moment, but then the child can't escape the kingdom, but finally it gets its murloch to go out into the realiverse and fetch its mother from the albatross, only by then it has reached puberty and doesn't want its mom around anyway.

A person has carpal tunnel from typing so much, so probably she should go eat a snack or something OOOOOH LOOK SOMEONE MADE US COFFEE, ALSO HERE IS A BAR OF CHOCOLATE

An unknown writer becomes famous and wealthy overnight, also her book is actually good and not this stupid fucking PILE OF CRAP SOMEONE LEFT ON HER COMPUTER WHAT IS THIS SHIT SURELY SHE DID NOT WRITE IT SOME MORON WROTE IT, and moves with her cat and her support team to Paris, where she has healthcare and croissants are brought to her on a golden platter all day, but then everyone in the USA is like OH PLEASE COME BACK REJECTIONIST, WE MISS YOU, and then she is all like HA HA SUCKERS, THE CROISSANTS ARE BETTER OVER HERE

A polar bear leads a revolutionary movement that overthrows capitalism, while an especially clever dolphin discovers a cure for global warming; subsequent to the installation of a peaceful anarchist barter state, where all persons are enfranchised, the legislators currently restricting women's reproductive rights, the rights of queer people, and the rights of people who are not white people are all sent to the moon, where they are tormented by narwhals, also no one ever reads a kindle again, because polar bears don't like them.