1. YES IT IS TRUE: THE REJECTIONIST AND T.H. MAFI WILL BE LIVE-BLOGGING TAHEREH'S VERY FIRST FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING VIEWING THIS SUNDAY, JANUARY 16th, at 7PM EST, on Tahereh's charming blog Grab a Pen. We cannot explain our love for these movies; to be honest, they really aren't very good, on multiple levels, and Tolkien devotees quite justifiably find them loathsome. One cannot judge the films by their loyalty to the books, as they haven't any (Peter Jackson: Embellisher of Racist Tropes, Total Maker Up of Shit); one is obliged to develop instead an arcane calculus of cinematic valor, consisting of the ratio of Epic Battles to Scenes of Hobbits Whining, factoring in Mr. Smith Trying to Look Elfy and How Tired One Is of Arwen Weeping on a Couch. Anyway, the Fellowship of the Ring, being heavily burdened with Exposition Largely Invented by Peter Jackson and sorely lacking in Epic Battle, is definitely our least favorite; although, mercifully, it also contains the smallest quantity of hobbit lugubriousness. But the Rejectionist is ever a Noble Friend, and so we shall accompany wee Tahereh on her first journey to Middle-Earth by viewing this film with her.
HOWEVER, Author-friends, we also wish YOU to accompany us on this voyage of discovery! LOTR lends itself quite nicely to drinking games ("Legolas Does Something Awesome," "Aragorn's 'I'm Serious/Empathetic' Head Tilt," "Gimli Says 'Laddie'") BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM, which is that Tahereh doesn't drink! So YOU have to drink WITH us, so we do not feel like a decrepit, creepy old sot! Okay? It will be like a PARTY. The (not extended, but we are going to put forth the treasonous opinion that in the first one IT DOESN'T MATTER) Fellowship of the Ring is currently streaming on Netflix HOW EASY IS THAT and it is our understanding that you may also leave us comments in real-time, thanks to this "live-blogging" apparatus. HOW FUN DOES THAT SOUND IT SOUNDS VERY FUN, DOESN'T IT.
2. IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS, longtime Author-friend Laurel, who has been with us since practically the very beginning, has WON the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (we don't need to tell you how awesome that blog is, right? You know already, right?) "Snooki Snex Scene" Writing Contest!!!!! Go wish Laurel congratulations, and read her, er, entry! DISCLAIMER: The Rejectionist is not responsible for any emotional or physical trauma incurred whilst perusing this item. HUZZAH, Laurel!
3. It is TWENTY DEGREES right now and we WENT RUNNING ANYWAY we would like everyone to be very IMPRESSED WITH OUR DEDICATION. Thank you. We do feel sort of weird, like maybe some important part of our inner anatomy froze? Does that happen? Oh well. HAPPY WEEKEND, AUTHOR-FRIENDS!