Pre-Resolutions Checkup
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
For those of you who are participating, we are a week into our Pre-Resolutions! How is everyone doing? Are you all writing your little writerly things? Loving yourselves? Eating your vegetables?
We must admit up front to having failed rapidly and entirely with our Resolution to refrain from taking the name of the Lord in vain, but we did try. For a few minutes, anyway. Our sally upon our backlog of New Yorkers experienced a major setback on Sunday, when we discovered YET ANOTHER pile of unread magazines dating back to MAY, but we did not allow this bump in the road to deter us from our Goal. We are currently three New Yorkers down, seventeen to go. Lola Pants has not received any caviar, but we did buy her a fancier kind of cat food, which has been met with disinterest.
As for our liver? Author-friends, the sober and uncaffeinated Rejectionist is, like, a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. A person who LEAPS OUT OF BED at SIX IN THE MORNING and labors mightily upon her Great Works before scampering off to her day job! A person of great cheer and industry! A person who ran five miles, cleaned the apartment, did the laundry, paid all the bills, wrote letters--real letters! on paper!--to friends, worked away at her Writing Projects, AND went to a dinner party ALL IN ONE DAY. Who IS this terrifying stranger? She is like the Ian MacKaye of bloggers! A horrid, proselytizing terrorist of clean living! We can barely stand to be in the same room with her! UGH! Dreadful! Next she is going to hijack our blog and start dropping saccharine tripe about Following Your Heart and Finding Your Inner Voice and Embracing Heart Wisdom on Your Publishing Journey and other claptrap! She will start an inspirational twitter! She will rescue orphaned puppies! DESPICABLE!
In happier news (and speaking of hobbits), someone asserted at the aforementioned dinner party that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is "not a great work of literature," and had we been even the slightest bit tipsy that ill-spoken young gentleman might have experienced grievous physical harm to his person. So this deprivation does have some few benefits.
How are YOU???
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I'm a little horrified that this once-a-year binge of self-improvement has resulted in a young man at a dinner party being able to claim that LoTR isn't a great work of literature without being soundly cuffed on the ear. Put some whiskey in your morning coffee and get back to your responsibilities as The Defender of Hobbits. Good lord, le R, if not you, then who?
NOT A GREAT WORK OF LITERATURE? I'm surprised you didn't kill him sober.
On a related note, please see this comic:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/planetx/4397854601/
I must buy you a drink. Immediately. That ill-spoken young man DESERVED bodily harm.
Though if you do start writing about 'Finding Your Inner Voice' I will find my resolution (to spend less time reading blogs when I should be working) much easier to follow.
I worry for you, Dear Le R., I really do.
Will you be back to normal in January?
I am transcendental.
Two pre-resolutions down, ongoing one doing better than expected . . . but I still can't find my ratzin'-fratzin' knitting.
And a friend sent me a link to these yesterday! My week is complete.
Limiting Internet time-wasting to 25 minutes is haaaarrrrd but it makes me a better person (much like the clean-living Rejectionist)!
And re-learning to do a cartwheel is terrifying but exhilarating. Best of all, I haven't even broken anything yet!
Funny you should ask!
http://freeadvicefromyrmama.blogspot.com/2010/12/pre-resolution-update.html
Pretty good for an amateur.
Fantastic! I have worked on not only a short story but also pulled out my ms to begin purging it of "thats" and "suddenlys" and words that end in "-ly." And turned in one paper. No trip to Paris yet with or without the Rejectionist :(
I'm resolving to do what every rejectionist hates, namely, dealing with real people in the real world and schmoozing. I'm going to the AAR young agents and assistants whatsit tonight. Are you coming?
I don't believe you.
I'm just saying... I would be struck dumb with a migraine the size of Thor's ass — in fact, I've begun drinking coffee at night in order to read longer. They should probably ban this stuff it is obviously more unhealthy than pot.
In other news, the kitchen is clean thankyouverymuch and I haven't heard a Seinfeld slap bass in over a week and it has changed my life I shit you not.
You da best — Lisa Kilian
Meh. Still need to get in the pool. I need a new swimsuit, but that's just an excuse. I can use the old one.
Other than that, things are decent. Holidays, man. Holidays.
Well my unspoken, unwritten resolution was to remember to blog about my resolutions and that one happened! Although it's good I did it before coming here, because otherwise that post might've turned into a Lord of the Rings rant (SOME PEOPLE JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND) and I would've forgotten to resolute again.
I haven't heard Ian MacKaye referenced in, like, a decade.
MINOR THREAT! MINOR THREAT! MINOR THREAT!
things are meh for me too. though I am sticking to my more "thank yous" rule, which seems to be making people think I'm more friendly. good or bad?
I have bought no new books, although I have added significantly to wish lists.
I have read one previously bought book, The God of the Hive, by Laurie R. King. I hate to say I was just slightly disappointed in it. Hated the multiple viewpoint, among other things.
I started, for about the fourth time, At Swim-Two-Birds, and again am baffled by it. Started skimming at page 11, gave it up at page 30.
I will move on to Shriek: An Afterword, by Jeff VanderMeer, a book I started last year but put down because I wanted to save it for a long lazy weekend when I could really sink into it. I have not HAD any long weekends, so will now jump in willy-nilly. I expect to lose some sleep over it.
I have to say I'm disappointed that the no coffee thing is working for The Rejectionist. One does not like to hear that sort of thing about one's only vice, other than Ben & Jerry. Well, and books.
I spent the last three days trapped in London, Ontario! Which is terrifying even when there's no endless blizzard plaguing the city. It snowed all Sunday when we arrived. And all Sunday night (when I was supposed to come home). And all Monday. And all Monday night. And on it goes today. 4 and a half feet and counting.
But I made a daring escape! Got stuck only once and drove out of the craziness. And, weirdly, 20 miles east or west and it was completely green. Nothing. Either way. But in that little band they have four and a half feet of snow, with another foot or two expected. Breaking records right and left. Weird.
And I found an open used-bookstore amdist all that! Ha ha! I've got mad skillz.
people of the internets!
DO NOT BUY INTO THIS NONSENSE.
le r DOES work with ORPHANED PUPPIES and help The People follow their hearts.
it is going to be my mission in life to reveal her character for what it truly is.
(however i cannot say that she wouldn't have injured the Ill-spoken Young Gentleman. that is probably very likely.)
Please start an inspirational twitter, a la Courage Wolf.
Having failed miserably, I am cheeering myself up with vast quantities of Neil Gaiman and multiple episodes of waking in the middle of the night to say to two squabbling cats STOP IT GOD DAMN IT AND GO TO SLEEP. Very cheering.
Who are you and what have you done to La Rejectionista?
Anyone know a good curandero?
Being productive is a truly terrifying experience. Personally, I can barely wait until the year ends and I go from soooo busy to soooo bored.
Doin' alright with the resolutions I meant seriously. But I mean, Jesus Christ, what were you thinking with that one goddamn resolution? Nobody could do that.
I am SO FREAKING DISAPPOINTED, Rejectionist! How many times have you taken the Lord's name in vain this month? Huh? How many? Fess up now.
While we're at it, have you danced? Imbibed in beverages of the alcoholic sort? Canoodled with persons other than one with whom you share a marriage covenant? Maybe those weren't among your pre-resolutions but you may as well cop to it now and get it off your conscience.
Mayhaps you've thought longingly of your bff's sweet brownstone on the upper west side? That's coveting, you know.
Mwahahaha Rejectionist, you are not going to escape my Fundamentalist clutches.
IT'S EVEN WORSE WE LIVE IN SIN AND HATE HARRY POTTER oh wait, that second one should work out with the Fundamentalist clutches. Never mind. HEE HEE HEE REJECTIONIST HEARTS RACHELLE GARDNER FOREVS
I have at least worked daily* on two of the three manuscripts I'd hoped. Which is better than I expected.
And I've added a secret pre-resolution: do not let the new puppy think (do not let the new puppy know it can break me with a sadface and a sound like a chicken caught in a creaky door hinge. This may require some acting, but it is important.
*initially typed as 'faily' -- which would also be accurate.
Does this mean cancelling coffee and alcomohol = productivity?
Because ultimately most of my pre-resolutions require productivity. Which is a problem...
(Inability to cancel coffee) + (Good intentions) DOES NOT = Success
I only made my pre-resolutions two days ago, and so far I'm still kind of teetering on the edge of success or failure. You know, it depends how you look at it. Have a succeeded at my write every day resolution because I've written a few blog posts? Or is that a fail bacause I haven't actually written any WIP?
I think I need another few days before I know for sure.
Is 1/7 considered a failure?:
http://tinyurl.com/28pogn9
(and PeffinS: That picture below is scary. ACK!!!)
So far, so good! Though I will admit that drinking decaf tea only (except in DIRE SITUATIONS) is harder than one would have imagined. It does not help that one is wimpy in regards to cold weather and picky in regards to the taste of tea. One seems to create a lot of DIRE SITUATIONS in order to compensate.
Uhhhh... you may hate Harry Potter but I LOVE LOVE LOVES Harry Potter. Ah, the way he keeps my husband and two precious kiddies out of my way for hours and hours and hours at a time... movies, books, theme parks, what more could we ask for? I do believe Harry Potter is God's special gift to THIS Literary Agent Mom.
I, too, have failed miserably already...but am still plugging away at words and occasionally acknowledging my amazing-ness. Astounding improvements are being made!
Also, Tahereh has ratted you out lovely Receptionist (though I have secretly suspected all along).
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