This Week in Rejectionist Discoveries

1. Foxy new barista who torments Rejectionist by one day being flirtatious and undercharging her for her coffee and the next aloof and diffident IS IN FACT TWO DIFFERENT, NEARLY IDENTICAL PERSONS

2. Ginger Snaps: possibly the most awesome movie about being a teenage girl ever? (After Times Square and Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains, obvs). Kind of like if Heathers and Buffy had a baby and then it melted your face off.

3. Up in query popularity this week: rhetorical questions, mafia novels, novels featuring random insertion of vampire (as in, "a trenchantly observed novel about the dissolution of a marriage in the midst of a midwestern snowstorm WITH VAMPIRES")

4. So wherever we go, people query us? Like, in the real world? How does this even happen? How is it possible, for example, that the Rejectionist might be out with a dear lady friend on what perhaps could be described as "a tear" which may or may not have involved the significant majority of a fifth of Wild Turkey ("making friends with the bartender": A DANGEROUS POWER, Author-friends! A DANGEROUS POWER INDEED) only to be approached at the bar by some random lady who began telling us--with NO IDEA OF WHO WE WERE OR OUR JOB--about her Macdowell Colony fellowship and unfinished soon-to-be-bestselling-despite-lack-of-actual-publisher autobiographical novel project? All we can say is, if you initiate this conversation with someone you do not know who is CLEARLY on "a tear" and suddenly that person is shouting at you about Market Forces and The Problem With MFAs is They Don't Tell You to Put a Goddamn Plot In There Even Elif Batuman, Genius Agrees With Us and What the Fuck Do You Mean You're Trying to Get an Agent Without Writing Your Novel First and Don't You Know Macdowell Colony Fellowships Are a Goddamned Dime a Goddamned Dozen, you sort of deserved it, bless your heart, and you will probably never make that mistake again, WILL YOU.

5. Lydia Davis is kind of sublime. So is Flaubert. Also: you know who loved semicolons? FLAUBERT. You know who is famous, also brilliant? FLAUBERT. You know who ELSE loves semicolons? THE REJECTIONIST. Coincidence? WE THINK NOT.

6. This video: extremely charming. Thanks to Author-friend Heather for the link!

The Diary of a Disappointed Book from Studiocanoe on Vimeo.