REJECTIONIST UNCONTEST RESULTS: LET PUBLIC HUMILIATION PREVAIL

Rejectionist aged 9: I do not like Kristi L. She thinks she is perfect because she has a stupid club. She says she is making a movie but I doubt it. I don't like Erica either. She is going to be a brat when she grows up. Today is Friday.

Rejectionist aged 10: I miss the simplicity of being pre-puberty. Sixth grade politics suck. I finished People of the Sky. It was awesome! It's very different from Ratha's Creature but it is terrific! I feel tired and depressed. Today I went shopping for clothes with Mom. Terribly boring.

Rejectionist aged 14: I guess it's a testament to my growing maturity that I now find it a source of great embarrassment that two entire pages of this journal are devoted to an obsessive poem about James H. I cringe every time I look at it. He is such an idiot.

I've just been having an episode of intense nostalgia. I went through all my stuffed animals and old baby clothes and diaries from when I was little. There are so many things I forgot about that I don't want to forget about. I'm having this intense need to cling to my past. [This item followed by a transcription of the lyrics to "Punk Rock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen.]

Rejectionist aged 15: Hugh and Ryan and some girl I didn't know came over and we watched this incredibly bizarre movie called The Hunger. I think it was about vampires but it was hard to tell. & I'm learning how to drive finally. These are the things I'm supposed to remember. Also football games and exciting high school moments like crushes on my lab partner in chem (because you abbreviate things when you're in high school, chem and bio and I can't think of anything else. The caf.) and embarrassing things like cute boys seeing your tampons so you can say I could have died!!!! with exclamation points on your pink princess phone to your best friend girl friend later that night. But you'll get in a fight with her over a boy. Who explains that this is not how it is? that these are no longer the rules? (Perry! why did you break up Jane's Addiction you were so much better before Pornos for Pyros) but it's ok I'll live. & maybe have normal children who will regard my high school experience with bewilderment. "but mom!!! you didn't want to date football players?" I wonder if someday angst will be retro along with torn jeans and old flannels. [This item followed by a transcription of the lyrics to "Summertime Rolls"]

AND NOW AUTHOR-FRIENDS!!!! It's YOUR turn!! Link away in the comments! Let the mortification unfold!