REJECTIONIST UNCONTEST RESULTS: LET PUBLIC HUMILIATION PREVAIL
Monday, September 27, 2010
Rejectionist aged 9: I do not like Kristi L. She thinks she is perfect because she has a stupid club. She says she is making a movie but I doubt it. I don't like Erica either. She is going to be a brat when she grows up. Today is Friday.
Rejectionist aged 10: I miss the simplicity of being pre-puberty. Sixth grade politics suck. I finished People of the Sky. It was awesome! It's very different from Ratha's Creature but it is terrific! I feel tired and depressed. Today I went shopping for clothes with Mom. Terribly boring.
Rejectionist aged 14: I guess it's a testament to my growing maturity that I now find it a source of great embarrassment that two entire pages of this journal are devoted to an obsessive poem about James H. I cringe every time I look at it. He is such an idiot.
I've just been having an episode of intense nostalgia. I went through all my stuffed animals and old baby clothes and diaries from when I was little. There are so many things I forgot about that I don't want to forget about. I'm having this intense need to cling to my past. [This item followed by a transcription of the lyrics to "Punk Rock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen.]
Rejectionist aged 15: Hugh and Ryan and some girl I didn't know came over and we watched this incredibly bizarre movie called The Hunger. I think it was about vampires but it was hard to tell. & I'm learning how to drive finally. These are the things I'm supposed to remember. Also football games and exciting high school moments like crushes on my lab partner in chem (because you abbreviate things when you're in high school, chem and bio and I can't think of anything else. The caf.) and embarrassing things like cute boys seeing your tampons so you can say I could have died!!!! with exclamation points on your pink princess phone to your best friend girl friend later that night. But you'll get in a fight with her over a boy. Who explains that this is not how it is? that these are no longer the rules? (Perry! why did you break up Jane's Addiction you were so much better before Pornos for Pyros) but it's ok I'll live. & maybe have normal children who will regard my high school experience with bewilderment. "but mom!!! you didn't want to date football players?" I wonder if someday angst will be retro along with torn jeans and old flannels. [This item followed by a transcription of the lyrics to "Summertime Rolls"]
AND NOW AUTHOR-FRIENDS!!!! It's YOUR turn!! Link away in the comments! Let the mortification unfold!
Posts
Those are awesome! This uncontest reminds me of Mortified by David Nadelburg. Laughed my butt off reading that!
Ironically, I make a habit of humiliating myself on Mondays...so here's my contribution to the fun:
http://missvspeaks.blogspot.com/2010/09/mock-me-monday-old-letters.html
But where's the poem about James H.?? "I've just been having an episode of intense nostalgia" = priceless.
I'm afraid my own entries were a little more focused on boys and my intense insecurity: Bring on the public humiliation.
That was awesome. I've read Anais Nin's early diaries, and while she was as totally self-aware, she never mentioned Jane's Addiction. Or made me laugh like this.
"Be your own" indeed. And yes, bring on the poem!
You can find my own early writings here.
Dare I say my journal excerpts are WAY, WAY, WAY more humiliating than yours?
Here it is. Weep with shame along with me: http://lauramaylenewalter.com/?p=1434
I wrote about my hazy understanding of feminism, why I wanted to be a combination Save the Earth Girl/Hippie, my early writing dreams, and my rage at discovering a local radio personality was actually an uggo. There’s even pictures at the end!!
Thanks a lot for destroying my weekend, by the way. If it weren’t for this uncontest, I might have gone through life forgetting how pitiful I was.
I cannot believe I just hit the “publish” button for this post. Oh god.
Blogger ate my link, I think! If not, sorry for the double post.
Here it is. Sadly, it is not a writing sample since all my early tomes met their demise at the hands of my mother's OCD needs for an orderly household.
Instead, I offer you the most humiliating episode of my adolescent self. Made worse by the fact that what mortified me at the time turned out not to be the most embarrassing part of the whole scenario, something I would not realize until I was old enough to gain some perspective. And a clue.
Turns out my Dad, at the age of 78, was off horseback riding in the mountains with his Eagle Scout troop this weekend (yes, he is my hero), and Mom couldn't find the cartons where he keeps my old writing (can't blame her). Though she did send me a bunch of old, embarrassing high school photos, which will never, ever see the light of day until such time when I can embarrass the bejeezus out of my kids.
So I'm without a sample of my purple-glitter prose. You may all breathe a sigh of relief.
Instead, I posted an old college essay I did on censorship---I know it's not quite in keeping with the spirit of the contest, but here it is anyway.
I thought I would embarrass myself twice with angsty teenager poetry, and a snippet from my early attempts at character description.
Enjoy!
Public Humiliation
These are simply fabulous, Le R. ! Way to start my day.
Here's my own humiliation:
http://claudiea.blogspot.com/2010/09/public-humiliation.html
because you abbreviate things when you're in high school, is my favorite. And further proof that the internet is high school.
For my own humiliation I submit BOTH the 10-year-old humiliation and the less excusable humiliation of being twenty-one and writing about vampires.
If only I could go back and ban myself from writing them.
Can't wait to read these!
Here's mine:
PRIVATE Do Not Open!!!! (an uncontest entry)
These are GREAT :)
I simply had to add my own humiliation to the mix.
The caf! Oh, memories. I absolutely adore "Sixth grade politics suck." YES. YES THEY DO.
Here is my contribution to this display of youthful musing.
Here's mine. Alas, could not find anything tweenish in time.
Y'know, everyone's everything seems so much less mortifying from the other side.
Maybe I should've scanned the pages of the book wherein Dr. Seuss called upon me to tally my acts of kindergarten violence after all...
I really believe that today's bloggers were yesterday's angsty teen LiveJournal posters. Now all our embarrassing diary entries are still out there for the world to find!
Two parts on my blog in celebration of Public Humiliation. Love this idea!
I couldn't find my actual diary. I posted three poems that were written at the end of my fourth grade school journal. They are not profound and are way more humiliating to post than what I've read above. I'm embarrassed to push the post button. But I guess that's the point. Thanks for hosting an UNcontest!
http://www.lynneawest.blogspot.com/
All my early writing attempts were eaten by aliens disguised as these nasty little flying bugs that got into the attic. Lacking that form of humiliation, I thought I'd tell a true story of my early years instead. ;)
Public Humiliation
*cringe*
Here. Just take it.
Pimples and Pooftah Poetry
A few weeks ago I helped my parents clean out their closets and came across this little gem. It's not exactly a journal entry, so perhaps I do not qualify for the uncontest. But it's certainly mortifying! I wanted to be a disciplined writer and somehow managed to produce something like this.
All the poetry being posted for this contest makes me glad I was -never- interested in it. Whenever I was forced to do some for school, I would throw it away at the first occasion.
Alright, so I just found a bunch of my old notebooks last week. This was too timely for me to pass on.
http://theawesomeawesomenessofme.blogspot.com/2010/09/first-post.html
I can tell I'm going to be up all night reading everyone's entries. Good times.
so, i was rather weak and wasn't able to fully publish any of my humiliating ravings as a teenager, so i alluded to them instead and posted a song that takes me back to those times. oh joy. :)
Oh, the days best left forgotten.
Here you go:
http://christigoddard.blogspot.com/2010/09/rejectionists-uncontest.html
I decided to join you! It's still Monday in Washington, so I assume it's okay.
http://dawnvandermeer.blogspot.com/2010/09/rejectionists-public-humiliation.html
Thanks for the fun!
I'm a little late, but I still wanted to share.
http://cursingsandmusings.blogspot.com/2010/09/well-this-is-embarrassing.html
Keep them coming, everyone. I'm still reading.
Every bit of your shame takes just a smidge away from mine.
I threw out everything I wrote in my youth because I had some strange parents.
However, I do recall a lot of short stories, and the disquieting fact that I knew how to spell 'strychnine' at the age of seven.
I also remember that I was very upset that all the girls I knew were obsessed with boys when I still wanted to play pretend.
I wish I had journaled earlier now. This is my own pathetic entry into the public humiliation domain.
http://tuxisme.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/public-humiliation-101/
I really wish I hadn't written this.
Back when I was querying, I made some gagarific 10th grade poetry public to explain how I felt about a rejection.
http://delilahpaints.blogspot.com/2009/10/you-wanna-see-crappy-writing.html
Good news: I'm married and agented now. I'm sooooo mature and stuff.
I think I have to release myself from regret or embarrassment about the behavior of my teenage self. I just wish I could. I cringe frequently when I remember specific moments from high school.
This was a great post. Thanks for making me feel less freakish.
I was all about poetry, poor me ;)
The "me" in the picture isn't - but only my Mum would be able to tell us apart.
If you think 18th Century Lovers Part 2: She is cringeworthy: be glad, I didn't post part 1 :)
http://notexactlyblogging.blogspot.com/2010/09/budding-writer-of-romance.html
Aww, I'd love to play! I've got pages and pages of cringe worthy stuff, but unfortunately all the diaries are in a bin in the garage somewhere... so I'll post some snips of writing over the years...
Post a Comment