Special Guest Post: KARL MAKES BIRTHDAY ANNOUNCEMENT EXCELLENCE O TINY ONES
Thursday, June 3, 2010
GOOD TODAY FRIEND AUTHORLINGS! HERE IS KARL WITH A LIGHT-MESSAGE OF GREAT IMPORTNESS! THIS DAY IS A DAY OF EXCELLENT CELEBRATINGS THROUGHOUT ALL THE GALAXY! A DAY OF GLAD TIDINGS FOR THE LABORERS OF THOUGHT-WORDS! TODAY KARL BRINGS YOU THE BRIGHT-EMERGENT NEWS OF THIS DELIGHTFUL REJECTIONIST CREATION'S BIRTH-ANNIVERSARY! LET US ALL STAND TOGETHER O PETLETS AND CAKELINGS TO ISSUE FORTH WELL-WISHINGS! FOR KARL ALSO OFFERS SPECIAL ADDITIONAL POSSIBILITIES OF JOYFUL CLAMORING! LOOK TO KARL WHO SAYS TODAY WE SHALL REJECT THE DISPLEASING COWORKERS WHO TELL CREEPY JOKES! THE WRETCHED COUSIN WHO MAKES STATEMENTS OF NEFARIOUS RACISM! THE MOCKING NEIGHBOR WHO UTTERS SLANDERINGS UPON LADY-CREATURES! KARL SHOUTS WITH YOU TO UTTERANCE THE FOLLOWING: I REJECT YOU, FOUL GOBLIN-MINDS! I SEND YOUR UNLIGHT AWAY! LET US DO THIS IN GREAT HONOR OF OUR DELICIOUS REJECTIONIST-FRIEND WHO WISHES TO USHER ALL BEINGS FORTH INTO SELF-LOVE RADIANCE, BRAVE DEARLINGS! NOW JOIN WITH KARL IN A MIGHTY DESERT DANCE!
ALSO TODAY WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH-ANNIVERSARY OF ALLEN GINSBERG! GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR ATOM BOMB, AMERICA!
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Happy birthday, R.
Happy Birthday!
You should celebrate in London. I will donate my room to you and your support team (and any of your fiancees) and fight for a couch with my "temporary" house guests (unfortunate loophole--six months may still be viewed as temporary--FYI).
Happy Birthday to you!!!
Barbie cakes rock.
Happy Birthday! And, in the spirit of Karl's imperatives:
I REJECT YOU, FOUL GOBLIN-MINDS! I SEND YOUR UNLIGHT AWAY!
I will now join Karl in the desert dance!
omg HAPPY BIRHTDAY!! :D :D
<33333333
PERHAPS I WILL SEND YOU (happy) QUERY LETTERS AS A PRESENT!
;D
Hippo Birdies Two Ewes! Deer Rejectionist.
And Many more.
Sounds like Karl's been hanging out with Gwynyfynyyynn, Princess of the Lost Underwater Kingdom of Mu.
And he'd surely agree with Ginsberg's own saint, Whitman, who gave this advice on holding the Light:
This is what you shall do... hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people who don’t get your Gordon Lish jokes, take off your hat and put on see-through blouses to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely in python leggings with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, toke some leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very blog shall be a great poem.
P.S. Here's more birthday wishes from Garrison Keillor.
Holy crap. You've come up with the perfect form rejection! Too bad the whole "foul goblin mind" thing will be lost on most of the people who receive it.
Yours in self-love radiance, Le R :) I tip my glass to you (yeah, yeah. I know it's only noon. What's the big deal, really?).
Happy Birthday, madam. May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows.
Happy Day of Days.
And I even found a picture of baby Le R...
Happy birthday! Revelry ensues...
This is a day for us to celebrate the bit of luck that led your mother and father to meet. You really do give much more to us than we can give you, Le R. So allow me to just say, "Thank you." I hope you and your support team go out and do something fun after work tonight. I wish I were there to give you a kiss and a hug. Happy birthday.
Well that explains this, then.
Happy birthday!
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, DARLING!
I promise that when we wed, I will choose a cake even more glorious than the Barbie cake. I'm thinking something like this or maybe this (because you can stab it with knives, then eat it).
LOVE AND OBSCURE LITERARY REFERENCES,
Me.
happy birthday!
Happiest of birthdays to you!
Sorry I'm late, luv, but I assume you're still up celebrating so Happy B Day!!
With love and Tylenol,
D.
Oh Karl. Oh Men at Work. You lighten my heart. Happy birthday.
I hope you had the wonderfullest of birthdays, dearest Le R. Even better than that very pink cake.
THANK YOU, AUTHOR-FRIENDS!!!!
OMG KEITH POPELY OMG TRICERATOPHAT OMG INK OMG CKHB OMG MAINE CHARACTER
!!!!!!
HAPPY (belated) ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR FIRST AWAKENING, SNOOKUMS! Long may you banish the unlight and bring about the ray.
I have gifted you with a pair of pearlized [sic] gunmetal hued leggings replete with bronze zippers that form the outer seam on either side, spanning the entire length—from cuff to waistband.
Fire! And the world shalt be your runway
*Gasp* Am late! Will just have to double up on presents as soon as I am invited to one of your many upcoming weddings. In the meantime, happy birthday!
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake . . .
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