"I Went to Rejectionist World and It Was Not A Democracy"; Or, Some Thoughts on Our Deep Thoughts
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
So do you remember that time last week when we were like "Publishing! So boring! We're going to talk about ourself now!" and everyone pretended for a minute that www.therejectionist.com was ever about anything BESIDES the Rejectionist, and was maybe at some point a mildly useful blog for people who were writing a novel or something, but then we all kind of came together to agree that www.therejectionist.com is now, currently, as of this moment, all about The Rejectionist And Her Deep Thoughts That She Has, many of which are not, in fact, about publishing at all, although most of them are in some way about books? Oh. Well, that happened. So here's the thing! WWW.THEREJECTIONIST.COM IS A BLOG ABOUT THE REJECTIONIST AND HER DEEP THOUGHTS. It is as though we are having a party in our brain, and you are invited OMG THE DECOR IS SO SOOTHING IN HERE, there's a lot of black, and an AMAZING CHANDELIER. But here are some things about the party in Rejectionist World! It is, although virtual, a party that is happening IN OUR HOUSE. And our house, like your house, has rules at it. THESE ARE THE RULES.
1. The Rejectionist has many opinions. These are opinions that the Rejectionist has arrived at after a lifetime of careful study. These opinions are based on the following tenets: racism happens a lot, and we don't like it; other kinds of oppression happen a lot, and we don't like them either; books shouldn't be stupid; MMM CHEESE DELICIOUS. Some of the opinions in Rejectionist World may be displeasing to you and that is your very own business. But maybe it is time for you to go to a DIFFERENT WORLD if that is true! Because IF YOU DON'T LIKE US YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT INVITED TO OUR PARTY. And if you don't like queer people, feminist people, brown people, or smelly cheese YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT INVITED TO OUR PARTY. Also why would you want to COME to our party IF YOU DISLIKE US. That's torture. For everyone.
2. In the real world if we were having a party at our house, and someone came to it, and then that person was like "Hey Rejectionist! here are some reasons why racism is great," we would kick that person the fuck out of our house. Just as if we went to, say, a Rotary meeting on how community activists were the same thing as terrorists, wearing a homemade sweatshirt with the slogan "If You Can Bake A Cake You Can Build A Bomb," they might ask us to leave THEIR house. Yes, that happened. A long time ago. ANYWAY the internet is kind of the same! We are not interested in this conversation:
The Rejectionist: AN OPINION
Random Stranger: I don't like that opinion!
WHY? Because it is our party which we are having for fun. FOR FUN. For our OWN fun. Why would you have a party if you couldn't have fun at it, hmmm? And also we enjoy inviting our friends to our parties, and they know who they are, and they are not going to have fun if people are being asshats at our party, either! So we might delete your comment! We might be like TODAY IS NOT A DAY WE FEEL LIKE EDUCATING THE UNIVERSE ABOUT HOW PRIVILEGE OPERATES WHEN THERE ARE MANY MANY FABULOUS INTERNET RESOURCES ON THIS TOPIC! Rejectionist World, like our house, is not a democracy! BUT LUCKILY FOR YOU THE INTERNET SORT OF IS, at least to the extent that you can have YOUR VERY OWN INTERNET BRAIN PARTY about YOUR VERY OWN THOUGHTS and you don't have to invite us there AT ALL. You could even call it therejectionistisnotinvitedtomyparty.blogspot.com, as that domain name is currently open. There you are!
3. It is an immense joy and delight to us when we make a post that is like RACISM IS STUPID SO IS HATING ON THE LADIES and lots of GLORIOUS AMAZING COMPLETE STRANGERS are like OMG I KNOW, HANG IN THERE, and it makes us feel less alone, and as if we are maybe not fighting such an immense and lonely and exhausting fight, and far and away the most fantagulatistic thing we have had happen to us out of this wacky Internet Experience that is www.therejectionist.com is that feeling, and the emails we get from people we have NEVER MET telling us how we make them feel less alone also. It is MAGICAL. It is the only reason we are still doing this. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WE LOVE YOU, AUTHOR-FRIENDS. That's not a rule, but it is a thing we wanted to say.
4. We hope we do not have to say this, but it is the internet, so we will: THE REJECTIONIST HAS OPINIONS BUT THOSE OPINIONS DO NOT PREVENT HER FROM DOING AN AWESOME JOB AT HER CURRENT LOCATION OF EMPLOYMENT WHICH HAPPENS TO BE A LITERARY AGENCY. Similar to how you probably have opinions and then go to work anyway. Mmm hmm! Bananas! Although if the first thing you think upon encountering www.therejectionist.com is "Man, I hope my novel does not fall into the hands of this assistant, who clearly hates racism," you might want to reconsider your novel JUST SAYING. Oh also: THE REJECTIONIST HAS MANY OPINIONS THAT ARE NOT (regrettably) IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM SHARED BY THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY AS A WHOLE and also THE OPINIONS OF THE REJECTIONIST IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM SHOULD BE CONFLATED WITH THOSE OF "STEVE" WHO IS ONE OF THE MOST FANTASTIC, PROFESSIONAL, HARDWORKING, SMART, AND AMAZING LITERARY AGENTS IN THE UNIVERSE, not that the Rejectionist isn't smart or hardworking, but you get our point.
AS THEY SAY IN ELVISH, AUTHOR-FRIENDS! Say Speak "friend," and come on in. So much for that thing we also said about posting less. Oh well.
Posts
I think I speak for every sentient being in the universe when I say, "Golly, Rejectionist, but I am so in love with you right now." But, like, platonic love in my case. Still.
Huzzah! Screw democracy! I mean, wait, uh...
That sounded better in my head.
Le R: Did you drink a whole bottle of sake tonight to bury the discomfort of discord here at The Rejectionist, too?
And, in the spirit of full disclosure, I don't agree with everything The Rejectionist says, either, but I feel that it is infinitely clear this is not necessarily a discussion blog. As in, Le R is not soliciting my opinion on such matters as Le R has clearly reached a conclusion. If Le R is interested in my opinion, Le R can chase me down on my own meager blog.
I love you, man. Even if we would fight in real life. I dig smart, funny people.
Sometimes the world needs people who occasionally speak in all caps and drop the f-bomb in defense of things like not being a racist and writing a better goddamn novel and generally not being a large bag of excrement on teh internets. Sometimes the world needs the Rejectionist.
Sometimes Scott G.F. Bailey beats me to the podium, and I resent him just a little. Then I remember I like his blog and think he's pretty smart, and forgive him.
We should do brunch. I'm pretty sure Tahi agrees with me.
I lurves you Le Rej. And I would definitely invite you to my house party with lots of cheese. Don't let the petty high school drama of the interwebs get you down.
OMG I KNOW! THEY SUCK, SCREW THEM LE R IS AWESOME. HANG IN THERE!
Your blog is a bright spot in my internet day.
ORCS are not invited to this party. Delete them as needed. Riddles are a fine art.
This is one of the few blogs on interweb that plays on words and ideas with style.
Keep rejectionist world intact!
Have some bleu cheese. I bartered for it from a LOLcat using a wee snuggie and that tabby snapped it right up. Anyway, we know bleu cheese isn't racist, because it has color, and color is awesome. I would invite that cheese to my party. My party is a drag ball, by the by. Karl Lagerfeld is going to come dressed as Marie Antoinette and there will be puppies. And obviously cheese. Mmm.
It's not enough that the nasties dominate the interwebs? They're trying try to crash the Rejectionist's party, too? It's enough to make me stop lurking and post!
Don't let them get to you, Rejectionist. The louder and more obnoxious they are, the more effective you know you're being.
If only there were more of you/us, there would be change. And my feminist and queer novel might actually have a chance, too. You give me hope that there are critical and progressive minds opening those queries, and that someone, somewhere in a cubicle in Manhattan, is fighting the good fight.
Best stinky cheese to you!
You go, Le R. Have at 'em! And please don't ever change. We loves you just the way you are.
Your blog is Parfait! (With a grating of smelly cheese on top, if that's what rocks your boat.)
I agree with Laurel. Maybe in other places a spirit of discussion should be encouraged (news sites for example,) but on a personal blog? No thanks. Nobody needs to know that you don't share the same opinion; it's kind of irrelevant.
Actually you know what it's like? It's like when you're making small talk with someone and you say "Hmm nice weather isn't it" and they say "No I don't think it is" and you're like "Oh."
Or if you overhead a group of strangers talking about how crap Grey's Anatomy is these days and you randomly stormed over to them and said "WELL I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY I THINK IT'S BETTER THAN EVER SO STFU WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ANYWAY???"
It's just weird.
you didn't see it, but i just stood on a table and cheered. and maybe cried a little.
ALSO SIMON STOP CALLING ME TAHI OR I WILL MAKE YOU EAT AHI TUNA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
ahem.
and you are NOT INVITED TO BRUNCH.
hearts for LE R!
more hearts!
I've yet to post a comment to this particular blog, but only because I can never think of anything to say that could possibly improve upon or enhance what you've posted. When it comes to those who would complain about what you're writing, I say let them eat cake. The rest of us shall dine on delicious ice cream cake, which some blessed soul will have miraculously managed to spike with rum. They will be left to defend their white cake with green frosting, claiming they "didn't want any lousy old ice cream cake, anyway. It gives you brain freeze." But we shall know better.
So I just love you for checking the availability of rejectionistisnotinvitedtomyparty :)
I'm a black female, but I grew up in a majority black, majority female country, so I really don't have a clue about racism or sexism. I didn't know about the prejudices in publishing like that whole Magic Under Glass affair, and I thank you for educating me.
Now, I live in Japan, where not being Japanese is often about the same as being a disabled, black, female queer. Not fun at the best of times, horrific at the worst.
We still loves you! And we also don't understand why people insist on going to parties they are not invited to and then grumbling. We worked with a guy like this last year and we were so happy when he left!
I *heart* you and your opinions. And OMG I JUST REALIZED you're coming up on your first anniversary of blogging (me, too!), so we need to have a REAL HONEST TO F***ING GOODNESS BLOG PARTY soon (with free cheese samples and "RACISM IS FOR ASSHATS" tee shirts). Seriously. Can you believe it's been almost a year already? They grow up so fast...
You rock, Rejectionist!
I had some racism the other day and it was all chewy and stuck to my teeth and left a bad aftertaste. I'm off it for good. Mostly hummous now. The garlic kind. Immuno booster, you know. Helps to fight off the stupidicus virus. (I hear you can catch it over the internet...)
Le R,
Unfortunately, I think people are more motivated to comment on a blog when they disagree with the ideas than when they agree with them.
I think there are a lot of us out there who read your posts and think, "Yes, I hope the Supreme Court will open up a can of whoop-ass on Arizona already." And chuckle because we're glad no one is harrassing our elbows. But then move on with our day without commenting.
So just know that there are a lot of us at your party who are just swaying to the music with a cocktail in hand, not causing any drama.
We love you.
Havarti is an under-appreciated cheese.
Le R.: These should be rules for life, not just your blog. I have intense appreciation for your opinions and it's a relief to see someone talking about Serious Things on the Internet without taking themselves too seriously. It's exhausting to only read the opining of bloggers who think that because they talk about serious stuff they are infallible and glorious. Conversely, you both make me laugh and Think About Stuff. SO: you are doing a Great Job YAY! Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to back the eff off.
Please be my relative and come to any party I ever give. You are awesome beyond compare. You can use your time machine to go to all my past parties, too.
Dearest Rejectionist,
I beseech thee, point out these knaves that I may vanquish them in your name. I shall run them through with my internet sword thingy.
Ignore the morons M'lady. We like and appreciate you just the way you are.
I will admit to not liking smelly cheese though.
Preach it, sister. Also let me know when you are next going to be in Boston because I will take you out for cheese and/or margaritas.
Brava.
E
THE REJECTIONIST WEEPS AND EMBRACES THE AUTHOR-FRIENDS
It is okay about the cheese, some of our friends are even vegan, which we forgot yesterday whilst composing our opus.
I'm with the commenter who said, sometimes you make my day and I don't comment :D
I am white, female. I worked in a casino ran by the Natives as I live on a reservation. I worked security. I was actually told that I don't belong there since I'm white and WTF was I doing working security as that is a MANS job.
It really ticked me off. I'm married to a Native and my children are Native and I hope to god the goddesses and any other immortal with designs on our universe that MY CHILDREN NEVER DO THIS.
Even at school, my 8 yr old is made fun of for being Native and comes home telling me he's brown - obviously code for mexican. I tell him he is an indian not a mexican and that it DOES NOT MATTER ANY WAY AND WHO THE HELL IS, Um, I mean where are your teachers during these delightful discussions on how you can't be white and you MUST NOT BE INDIAN OR I WILL PUNCH YOU UNTIL YOU BLEED.
You are a wonderful breath of fresh air that I go to read whenever I need a more "positive way" to look at the whole situation in that I don't go tearing out arms of 8 & 9 yr olds and at least wait until I see the parents responsible...
Oh, and BTW, Your party rocks :D
LOL. You are awesome, Rejectionist!
I seem to have fallen into a disagreement about expressing your opinion online and being a writer with an agent I would really like to work with. I think. Their opinion is that it doesn't pay to put potential readers against you before they've cracked your book. Well, I'm really a bit crazed when it comes to LGBT equality issues. And I express that online. There are GAY people in my novels. If they don't like my opinions online, they're not going to like my novels, either.
Having an opinion is good. Expressing it is better. The arts change and better the world by presenting views that may not be typical or may be controversial. Otherwise, WTF is art for? To keep your walls and bookshelves full? I say nay.
You tell it, TR!
Gawd, I wish I knew what agency you worked for. :/
Crap...I go away to, you know, WRITE MY NOVEL for a while, and all hell breaks loose!
I was going to respond, but here's what it boils down to:
What Laurel said.
And Lydia- "rascism is for asshats"? Really? I think I'm a little bit in love with you ;) Because that was baked up from the cake mix of awesome, right there.
Keep bein' you, Le R. Please!
I had to break out of lurkdom for this post. First I was quietly snickering over Le R's post, and then when I saw Ink's comment, the hoots that escaped made my son turn around and ask what I was laughing about.
Keep posting your opinions Le R. You are a riot. You can be my wacky friend who gets me out of the house. Yeah for parties!
You are my Internet fix every day amongst the work blah blah. I heart you and your compassion/commitment!
Other than this was an awesome post, I also thought: "Actually, I believe it's 'Speak 'friend' and enter'" and then I realized what a through and through DORK I am.
therejectionistissoinvitedtomyparty
Sing it, luv, and party on!
Love you, Rejectionist, and love your party. Keep on rocking!
You are not alone in your fun party of non-racist, pro-women friends! We are soooo with you, even those of us who live in red states with racist, anti-woman governors! Like me. You are alone in that you say it much funnier than anyone else. Mwah!
YeeHaw!
Go, Le R., Go!!!
We so wanna come to that party. We spent today holding forth ON A FIELD TRIP about being kind and tolerant and NOT BEING F***ing HATERS AT THE AGE OF 8!!!!! B/c OUR opinion is the law of the jungle in grade 2 round here.
Our little rural school went to a smallish city nearby to attend a museum. There were other schoolchildren present, not all of whom hailed from a socioeconomically depressed redneck town and therefore included students of color, with whom my class is unaccustomed to interact.
We can all live together, little people, and, hey, it is GOOD FOR US to step outside our suffocating little bubble and see there's a big big world full of different faces and viewpoints.
Your party rules.
oh and I LOVE me some smelly cheeses, too
Hey, I heard there was a party over here???
Two things:
1)Where the hell can I find a sweatshirt that says 'If you can bake a cake, you can build a bomb' because for some reason that strikes me funny. Maybe because I can't bake?
2)Why would anyone be racist against brown people?? I ponder this as I torture myself under heatlamps so I too can be brown and beautiful.
I refuse to waste my time on bigots and racists. They are uneducated, sad, and so not worthy of my attention at all.
And if they came to my party I would give them a wedgie.
Hey! I love the Rejectionist! And I love smelly cheese! And I love people (except for oppressors and/or bullies)! So basically this sounds like the BEST BRAIN PARTY EVER.
Mm...voluble. Like Scott, I am also in love with you, Le R. But my love for you is not platonic. Not at all.
Dear Fawn Neun, it is amazing to us how routinely people in the publishing industry forget that gay people, brown people, and feminist people also know how to read. You fucking STAND TALL.
KEITH POPELY WE'RE GONNA SMACK YOU HA HA HA HA
OH MY GOD IT'S TOTALLY SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING
a FB friend told me to come here and I'm so glad she did -- this is awesome. this is like finding a voice of sanity in a wind tunnel (or something). keep your party going, keep it clear, and keep it fun!
In terminator voice: I'll be bawk!
I have had one of the worst fucking weeks of ever (and for really, because of real life and death and funeral terribleness, not because I got a hang nail or something), and this is what I come back to. Le R., we're just married, okay? That's it.
YES to smelly cheese
YES to recognizing your privilege and not letting it smell like smelly cheese
YES to bitch ass feminists
YES to fun inside our own heads because sometimes, the world really fucking sucks
YES to loving each other, because friends, that's all we really have
Peace
FRIEND!!
"Friend" is one of my favorite words. Also love the words "party" and "cheese." That you used all three makes me love the Rejectionist.
Also, my 5 hour energy drink has fully kicked in. Hyper and a little paranoid.
xoxo (also, cheese)
dearest le r-
when i read your blog, i feel less alone and like there is a strong militant ally who's got my back. cause everyday, i need one. and i am thankful to know that's it's you. please continue the profanity, witticisms, critiques, and authenticity.
xoxo, moi
(ps as i am lactose intolerant, i will bring the whiskeys to your party anyday.)
Speak friend and come on in is way more "Rejectionisty" and much less dwarfy, so. I like it.
Democracy? Its more like 'demob-cracy'.
Hahaha great post, the Rejectionist rawks
I stand by any blogger's right to delete a comment they do not like. This is a blog, not a forum or discussion board.
I am a regular reader La R (I'm more inclined towards Italian than French), hugely enjoy your posts, but a little shy about commenting. I have decided to cheer you on more often from now on :)
Viva La R!
See, this is the great thing about the Internet. No way could I ever find a party like this in real life! And with CHEESE even! :D
And I believe you were actually right about the Elvish. See, the way I understood it, the word could be translated as either "speak" or "say". Gandalf went with "speak" and made himself nuts coming up with words for "friend", but the correct translation should have been the simpler "say" friend and enter. Gandalf was just overthinking the problem.
Not that I'd ever do something like that myself. ;)
Can there be a rule about Glen Beck and scorpion pits?
Ahhh! This makes me so happy! I've been drawn off into a vortex of work so suckifying I haven't cracked open the pages of the interwebs in, like, A WEEK (the US could have been taken over by creepy grey skinned aliens and I wouldn't know it) and I got a moment to check on Le R and what do I find but happiness! Huzzahs for Le R! And now back to work. I am reminded of that cartoon you posted involving a keyboard and bloody stumps.
Coming out of lurkdom to say that your blog is really my favorite sort of party. My other favorite type of party is going on a "book store hop" with my feminist meetup pals.
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