So do you remember that time last week when we were like "Publishing! So boring! We're going to talk about ourself now!" and everyone pretended for a minute that www.therejectionist.com was ever about anything BESIDES the Rejectionist, and was maybe at some point a mildly useful blog for people who were writing a novel or something, but then we all kind of came together to agree that www.therejectionist.com is now, currently, as of this moment, all about The Rejectionist And Her Deep Thoughts That She Has, many of which are not, in fact, about publishing at all, although most of them are in some way about books? Oh. Well, that happened. So here's the thing! WWW.THEREJECTIONIST.COM IS A BLOG ABOUT THE REJECTIONIST AND HER DEEP THOUGHTS. It is as though we are having a party in our brain, and you are invited OMG THE DECOR IS SO SOOTHING IN HERE, there's a lot of black, and an AMAZING CHANDELIER. But here are some things about the party in Rejectionist World! It is, although virtual, a party that is happening IN OUR HOUSE. And our house, like your house, has rules at it. THESE ARE THE RULES.
1. The Rejectionist has many opinions. These are opinions that the Rejectionist has arrived at after a lifetime of careful study. These opinions are based on the following tenets: racism happens a lot, and we don't like it; other kinds of oppression happen a lot, and we don't like them either; books shouldn't be stupid; MMM CHEESE DELICIOUS. Some of the opinions in Rejectionist World may be displeasing to you and that is your very own business. But maybe it is time for you to go to a DIFFERENT WORLD if that is true! Because IF YOU DON'T LIKE US YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT INVITED TO OUR PARTY. And if you don't like queer people, feminist people, brown people, or smelly cheese YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT INVITED TO OUR PARTY. Also why would you want to COME to our party IF YOU DISLIKE US. That's torture. For everyone.
2. In the real world if we were having a party at our house, and someone came to it, and then that person was like "Hey Rejectionist! here are some reasons why racism is great," we would kick that person the fuck out of our house. Just as if we went to, say, a Rotary meeting on how community activists were the same thing as terrorists, wearing a homemade sweatshirt with the slogan "If You Can Bake A Cake You Can Build A Bomb," they might ask us to leave THEIR house. Yes, that happened. A long time ago. ANYWAY the internet is kind of the same! We are not interested in this conversation:
The Rejectionist: AN OPINION
Random Stranger: I don't like that opinion!
WHY? Because it is our party which we are having for fun. FOR FUN. For our OWN fun. Why would you have a party if you couldn't have fun at it, hmmm? And also we enjoy inviting our friends to our parties, and they know who they are, and they are not going to have fun if people are being asshats at our party, either! So we might delete your comment! We might be like TODAY IS NOT A DAY WE FEEL LIKE EDUCATING THE UNIVERSE ABOUT HOW PRIVILEGE OPERATES WHEN THERE ARE MANY MANY FABULOUS INTERNET RESOURCES ON THIS TOPIC! Rejectionist World, like our house, is not a democracy! BUT LUCKILY FOR YOU THE INTERNET SORT OF IS, at least to the extent that you can have YOUR VERY OWN INTERNET BRAIN PARTY about YOUR VERY OWN THOUGHTS and you don't have to invite us there AT ALL. You could even call it therejectionistisnotinvitedtomyparty.blogspot.com, as that domain name is currently open. There you are!
3. It is an immense joy and delight to us when we make a post that is like RACISM IS STUPID SO IS HATING ON THE LADIES and lots of GLORIOUS AMAZING COMPLETE STRANGERS are like OMG I KNOW, HANG IN THERE, and it makes us feel less alone, and as if we are maybe not fighting such an immense and lonely and exhausting fight, and far and away the most fantagulatistic thing we have had happen to us out of this wacky Internet Experience that is www.therejectionist.com is that feeling, and the emails we get from people we have NEVER MET telling us how we make them feel less alone also. It is MAGICAL. It is the only reason we are still doing this. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WE LOVE YOU, AUTHOR-FRIENDS. That's not a rule, but it is a thing we wanted to say.
4. We hope we do not have to say this, but it is the internet, so we will: THE REJECTIONIST HAS OPINIONS BUT THOSE OPINIONS DO NOT PREVENT HER FROM DOING AN AWESOME JOB AT HER CURRENT LOCATION OF EMPLOYMENT WHICH HAPPENS TO BE A LITERARY AGENCY. Similar to how you probably have opinions and then go to work anyway. Mmm hmm! Bananas! Although if the first thing you think upon encountering www.therejectionist.com is "Man, I hope my novel does not fall into the hands of this assistant, who clearly hates racism," you might want to reconsider your novel JUST SAYING. Oh also: THE REJECTIONIST HAS MANY OPINIONS THAT ARE NOT (regrettably) IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM SHARED BY THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY AS A WHOLE and also THE OPINIONS OF THE REJECTIONIST IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM SHOULD BE CONFLATED WITH THOSE OF "STEVE" WHO IS ONE OF THE MOST FANTASTIC, PROFESSIONAL, HARDWORKING, SMART, AND AMAZING LITERARY AGENTS IN THE UNIVERSE, not that the Rejectionist isn't smart or hardworking, but you get our point.
AS THEY SAY IN ELVISH, AUTHOR-FRIENDS!
Say Speak "friend," and come on in. So much for that thing we also said about posting less. Oh well.