Vampire Fashion Week!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's FASHION WEEK, Author-friends! A very excellent excuse to talk about FASHIONS, which is right up there with Taking Money Away From Rich People, Armed Revolution, and Overthrowing the Man on our list of Favorite Conversation Topics! And you know what YOU like to talk about, dear ones, is VAMPIRES. VAMPIRES VAMPIRES VAMPIRES. So why don't we meet halfway and talk about VAMPIRE FASHIONS.
Because honestly, moppets, the vampire fashions we are seeing are totally not cutting the mustard. If we have to read one more "His soft green T-shirt and glitter body spray perfectly set off his emerald-green eyes which gazed deeply into mine as his firmly muscled chest heaved with passi ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SORRY WHAT WAS THAT WE FELL ASLEEP. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. Vampires are, like, mad loaded, centuries old, and really really gay;* do you truly expect us to believe they are repeating the tenth grade eternally** in the spring Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue? NO THEY ARE NOT, and if they are, they sure as hell don't deserve a book written about them. So LOOK AND LEARN, LITTLE ONES. If anyone is feeling super generous and would like to send us any of the below items we would not say no.
Here we have some nice looks from Ann Demeulemeester, favorite of vampires and discerning goths everywhere:
Rad Hourani solves the eternal (ha, ha) vampire problem of looking cool in hot weather:
A little Rick Owens, for when all-black ensembles get dreary (as if they ever could! But not everyone lives in New York, we realize):
Rick Owens is in fact so beloved by the bloodthirsty that real live vampires walk in his shows:
Some Gareth Pugh (because if vampires can't wear feather vests as shirts WHO CAN):
And lastly here is wee Gareth himself, modeling a nice dressed-down daily look for the sensible vampire:
It is possible we are partial to this last because it is the outfit we ourself can be found in 98.3% of the time, but whatevs. Now! back to your novels, little creatures! And don't send us any more frumpy goddamn undead!
*If you have another explanation for why the only folks getting the big love bite are eighteen-year-old manmorsels, we're all ears.
**For reals, people, come on. No matter how bored we get we are not going to find revisiting pre-algebra larkish. You want hot vampy-Lolita action, find another conceit besides vampster heading back to high school "for the fun of it."
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All the characters in my new VAMPIRE INFANTS OF WINDSOR will be dressed SUPERBLY.
And, MY GOD, you should see the SOOTHERS...
Loves it!
I have no information on vampires, unfortunately, since I spend eight months of the year running a beach umbrella rental business... in which the fashion decisions are limited to the choice of Ipanema or Havaiana flip-flops for the scooter ride to the beach. The outfits above are beyond my ken.
Holy Anne Rice Vampman, is it wrong that I kinda think that dude number two is a teensy bit HOT?!
I need to go scrounge up my Docs now.
Happy Fat Tuesday!
look 2=yowza
I agree number 2 is a hottie.
My vampires are actually ugly and do the freakiest thing: they eat people. I know, I know, vampires that eat people are so last season, but I'm a rebel.
Number 2 is hot and so is what he is wearing. If thats wrong then I don't wanna be right.
I also think every one of them, especially Gareth needs an emergency cheesebuger! They are obviously starving to death!
Holy crap, Rick Owens' model is DOOGIE HOWSER! I don't mean present-day NPH, I mean Doogie Howser looking exactly as he did in the 80's.
OMG this means that Doogie was never a kid genius at all! He'd probably been to med school like twenty times already!
THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE ARE SOLVED.
We prefer t-shirts, and this is what we think of high fashion.
Lol, Kate, I was just thinking "I never knew Neil Patrick Harris was a vampire..."
Oh, and the whole muscle-shirt-on-a-skinny-dude look needs to die immediately. I do not want to see your ribs, sweetie. Also, you look cold.
What is that thing wrapped around the first guy's neck? It's eating him!!!
I think Chris March is secretly the vampire king. I mean, he's gay, he's dramatic, he's always sleeping during the day, and he uses human hair in his clothes.
I like Gareth’s look – my best friend in college wore exactly that all the time, except his boots were never shiny and at least one hand was holding a beer.
How tiny is that Gareth!!!! And I was just going to say how they managed to score all these vampire models when I read your caption.
Okay, the vamp-attire in summer: like the top, can even dig the weird leg wrapping thing, but the semi skirt that flares out?
I think that's a jacket tied around his waist. Vampire grunge.
>because if vampires can't wear feather vests as shirts WHO CAN
No one. Well, maybe a bird who got accidentally mutated into a human and was feeling chilly.
That's not a feather vest. The shifters demanded equal time and that model is actually a were-raven.
And LeR: The reason it's always 18 year olds recieving the hickies is because no grown woman is going to put up with a dude who sleeps all day and claims he can't mow the grass because he will burst into flame.
Strong language, but I found one that isn't into teenagers: http://www.crookedfang.com/
You're welcome.
Marta Acosta's "Casa Dracula" series features adult vamps who go for very curvy, very adult sexxy Latinas. Or, at least, one Latina. Very fun books!
I prefer my vamps to look something like George Hamilton in "Love at First Bite." Old school, funny, sophisticated, and with a funny accent. HipsterVamp can go away now.
I really think someone should combine the redneck couture of old grunge rock with hip vampire goth. We need to see more vamps in plaid flannel.
That's a free idea. You can have it gratis.
Right. You could swing from the second guys' cheekbones. It's just not fair that those landed on a dude. NOT that I'm complainning. *sigh*...he's so pretty.
But here's the deal: I refuse to consider any dude who is either a) prettier than me (sorry #2, you're definitely OUT) and/or b) skinnier than me (ah, Gareth, alas, you're out too). So I guess The Husband can stay. I'm only prettier than him by a hair ;)
But I look better in things like leather pants. So it's all good!
I could be tempted to rob the grave for vamp # 2, if you know what I mean ;).
Seriously, though, well said about the man-morsels. I've often wondered that myself. Only thing that makes sense, really.
I had no idea vampires were so into gloves. I always thought vampires like long scary fingernails. The fingertip ones on guy 4 are a nice compromise. Hmm. Not sure about the snakeskin boots though. Maybe a vampire in Phoenix, though?
My vamps are usually found either in business chic or leather. Does that count?
<3,
-J
Fashion. Pointless except for the fact that it creates such cool looking hybrids. Number 5 is obviously the lovechild of Yoda and Doogie Howzer. Howser. However you spell it.
Love the vamps are gay theory!
Agree number 2 is Yumzies!
The second pic is definitely hot and I can tell you there was nothing remotely similar to that walking the halls of my highschool. So sad to say. If there were, I might just have taken algebra twice.
Luckily, I didn't. I went on to college in a big city where hot guys like that actually did go to clubs.
Grow up girls! Life really is better out of highschool.
Ink - I can't believe Baby Ink is actually inspiring you to write VAMPIRE INFANTS OF WINDSOR. I mean, sure, he never sleeps and has a liquid diet. But I'm pretty sure he's too cute to be one of the undead. :)
Quote: Vampires are, like, mad loaded, centuries old, and really really gay;* do you truly expect us to believe they are repeating the tenth grade eternally** in the spring Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue? NO THEY ARE NOT, and if they are, they sure as hell don't deserve a book written about them.
That is one of the many reasons that I am allergic to Twilight and Vampire Diaries (altough I must admit that VD is somewhat more original..)
Zis is vat I luff about you, LeR. You beleef in both ze anarchy and in ze high fashion. I haf been criticized for zis, but zat is bullsheet. Ze revolutionaries are always ze best dressed. (I call dibs on ze Reeck Owens.)
Love it! (And I couldn't agree more.)
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