FRIDAY: Or, This Week In Queries, Which You Should Definitely Be Holding Off On Sending Until January, Just Saying, But Whatever, It's Your Funeral

Total queries: 87 (slow week! everyone is in a food coma!), form rejections: 83, requests for fulls: 4, girls next door with astonishingly firm breasts: 3, semi-autobiographical novels based on badly ended relationships: 17, evil Russian scientists: 4, mangst novels (that would be man+angst): 13 (!!! what, did you fellows have a bad week, or something? Jesus, have a cocktail and buck up a little), super-nice personal rejections with useful commentary for manuscripts previously requested: 5, manuscripts featuring "pure evil": 2, manuscripts that are "Twilight meets Don Quixote": 1, authors who have told us that our emails are "keeping hope alive in their hearts": 1, manuscripts that are, like, blowing out the left hemisphere of our brain with their awesome: 1, representation offered by "Steve" to authors of manuscripts that are, like, blowing out the left hemisphere of our brain with their awesome: 1 (and WE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT IT PICK "STEVE" AUTHOR-FRIEND PICK "STEVE" PICK "STEVE" PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW GOOD YOUR BOOK IS DO YOU? IT'S SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WE TOLD "STEVE" WE WANT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS???? PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE PICK "STEVE" PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!).

On an unrelated note, "Steve" brought his son to work this morning, and it is pretty much a barrel of puppies watching someone negotiating a contract over the phone with a four-year-old dressed as Batman hanging off his leg shrieking WHERE IS MY JUICE I WANT TO SIT IN THE SPINNY CHAIR. Which is kind of what we want from today also, come to think of it.