Nice Assistant: Did you hear about the swine flu outbreak on the eleventh floor?
Le R.: ?!?
Nice Assistant: No, really. The super told me.
Le R.: Swine flu! Who actually gets swine flu! That's so silly!
Nice Assistant: I have some extra hand sanitizer if you want any.
Le R.: Pshaw!
Cut to Le R., swaddled in blankets, hacking and shivering, unable to leave bed, doped to gills on Nyquil, googling symptoms of swine flu, feebly demanding snacks and coffee be brought to us by obliging Support Team. We only have a little bit of a fever. That's okay, right? WE CAN'T AFFORD TO GET SICK. REALLY.